This is the last I'll say about the extremely important award I picked up in Germany for my charity work. I’m far too humble to boast about such a distinguished gong presented by such an important body of people. The fact is that I’m often asked to pick up awards for my charity work but I’m always loath to go public about all the good I do, especially when the picking-up of awards gets in the way of doing even more good work. It’s a delicate balance to strike. Do you stop serving soup to the homeless in favour of eating soup with people that own not just one home but several? The answer is, of course, that you do attend the event but you also bring back some soup for the poor, along with a few crusty rolls and whatever else you can squeeze into your pockets. (My tip: empty your pockets before you leave the hotel.)
Anyway, to answer a question which is often posed to me after these events, here is a list of my top ten humanitarians (not including family or friends).
1. Angelina Jolie
2. Madonna
3. Joanna Lumley (circa the green Lycra leotard she wore in ‘The New Avengers’)
4. Liz Hurley (does charity work on behalf of orthodontists)
5. Pamela Anderson (very much anti-lice)
6. Kelly Brook
7. Adriana Lima (Victoria’s Secrets)
8. Bono
9. Ghandi
10. Mother Teresa
Regius Gingiber!
Morning Tufty!
ReplyDeleteSaw you on the news at the weekend doing your regal walkabout bit. Very impressed.
While those Krauts were wandering the streets in mufflers, trenchcoats and all kinds of thermal paraphanalia - you just slipped on a v-neck under your suit and showed them true British grit.
I'm not sure about your list, mine has haggis at number 3 and a small white loaf at number 5.
Hope that the old wedding vegetables have thawed.
Thunderer Lightfoot.
Hallo Thunderer! Haven't seen you since we left you to sleep off that tequila slammer in Toppy Lawrence's flat.
ReplyDeleteYes, hoofed myself around Germany with a certain spring in my step. It was getting the award for my charity work that did it. Didn't feel the cold one bit, though it helps that my blood is a proven antifreeze being now up to 72% proof.
My veg are fine, thank you for asking. GM crops, don't you know. Resilient to frost.
We should catch up. Should I send my man around with the car to pick you up?
That would be a wizard blast! It is about time you let me have another go at the 'shoot the apple off the footman's noggin game'. I think I've worked out what I was doing wrong, I didn't realise just how nimble they are - those white wigs make 'em all look older.
ReplyDeleteI'll pop down to Fortnums for a hamper and some of the fizzy, so get your man to hang around outside in about 30.
Toodles, Thunderer Lightfoot.
Ah, the eternal problem with those white wigs. Can't say I'm a fan of them myself. Nothing worse than eyeing up the shins of a platinum blonde from the back only to have them turn around to discover it's your grandmother's favourite footman.
ReplyDelete